Last year, after doing 30 night shifts in a 10 week term, my soul was so shattered that I couldn’t bear to keep working. To protect my sanity I took leave for 3 months, which I can say now, was the best decision of my life.
Taking break from work can be frightening. especially when those around you aren’t.
Here I want to tell you that only YOU know what’s best for you and you MUST do what’s in YOUR best interest. Not in the Hospital’s best interest.
Unfortunately the hospital wont help you much UNTIL you break. so you need to know when to quit before you break.
Background info
To set the scene, I was doing a relieving term of 10 weeks where I was the only full time resident. The remaining 5 residents in the reliving pool were either casual or part-time. This meant that I had to complete around 30 night shifts in one term.
Once I decided enough was enough and that I was reaching a dangerous level of burn out I chose to take 3 months off. The “3 months” was due to the travel restriction placed by the Australian government at the time for COVID. One of the acceptable reasons to leave the country was if I was able to stay in the other country for 3 months before returning.
Thus on top of the already booked 1 month break I had, I decided to take 2 more months of half-paid and unpaid leave to meet this criteria.
Picking up the signs of burn out
So firstly how did I notice I was reaching my limit?
In general early signs include:
- Overwhelming exhaustion (“I can’t do this anymore”).
- A sense of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment (“Maybe I’m not cut out for this.
- Excessive workload and fatigue.
- Insomnia.
- Increased occurrence of illness.
- Feelings of unfairness.
- Loss of enjoyment.
- Feeling undervalued.
For me it was when I started crying for no reason. One time I finished a good night shift, but when I returned to my car post shift, tears started falling down. I had no idea why I was crying.
(You know when you get multiple burn out lectures during med school and internship, I used to think “yep yep I got it now” “oh another lecture that will be a waste of time because I’ve heard it all already”.
But I’m glad they taught us repeatedly. It was only thanks to those that I realised early “Oh I’m not ok” and was able to act upon it.)
How to negotiate with your medical workforce to get what you need
So once you realise burn out, next step is to get the break you need.
Dont get me wrong. I’ve only done this once so im no expert but let me at least tell you what I learnt from my own mistakes negotiating with those that hire you.
know what you can and cannot negotiate on
before you go in, know what you cannot compromise on.
Those that hire you, not necessarily because they are evil, but due to their line of work they will try to make you fit THEIR schedule and make you do what THEY want.
DONT FALL INTO THIS TRAP.
The fact that you are already going into medical workforce to organise a leave, already means that you have a legitimate reason and a need for this leave. It’s real and you’re not bullshitting.
For example, when I went in to ask for an unpaid leave they asked me to postpone my current break and work ANOTHER 1 month then take my leave. Unfortunately by this point I could not work another day. Nevertheless, because I hadn’t prepared by making a non-negotiable list I felt pressured to say I’d consider it.
Of course even after thinking about it the answer was a NO. As a result, I had to go in again to inform them that “No, I need my break” as planned. This just prolonged the process and made me feel extra guilty for wanting a break.
So dont be me and let them know first off what you CAN and CANNOT do.
Go negotiate in-person
I think people will have different opinion regards to this.
In my experience though, especially in Australia, I recommend going to their office in person instead of emailing them
Why?
It’s because if you go in person, they will see your authenticity, desperation and that your intention is pure and genuine.
Emails can often be forgotten, but it is hard to forget when an enquiry is attached with a face and an in-person conversation.
When doing out of the ordinary tasks, there will be lots of hurdles. So you might be having to go there very frequently but trust me its worth it. The more they see you, the more they feel the urgency and will act upon it to help you. (Obviously remember to be polite and calm though when speaking to them. It wont go well if it’s a rude person they see frequently haha)
DONT FEEL GUILTY
As I mentioned earlier, when asking for a 3 month break, I felt terribly guilty.
But remember:
- Hospital being short staffed isn’t your fault.
- There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself.
- If you dont take care of yourself, you cant take care of others.
Was it worth taking the 3 month break?
After about 3 weeks of back and forth negotiation, they understood the need and helped me organise my 3 month break. I will forever be grateful to those that assisted me in this.
So was it worth it? YESSSSSSSSSSSS x 100000000000 haha
This 3 month break:
- prevented depression
- helped me see life is more than work
- gave me time to pause while helped me reorganise all the things I’ve learnt over the years in my brain to become a better doctor
- allowed me to work on my career development by finding research opportunities
- reminded me how much I love medicine
I became excited to return to work again.
Summary
- If you notice signs of burn out, act immediately.
- Negotiate with medical workforce in person! Know what you can and cannot compromise on.
- You do not need to feel guilty for taking a break.
- 3 month break was worth it! 🙂
One thing I want to emphasise is I’m not trying to paint the hospital medical workforce as the enemy. It’s just that because they themselves have never done the shifts they organise, they don’t know how much toll it can take on the body. So you have to let them know and negotiate.
Medicine is a marathon. Take a break when you need to and lets enjoy medicine as much as we can so we can become the best doctors for the community. 🙂 Good luck!
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